How do I get the will to want to live for myself and not just my friends and family?

I am disabled . I am 48 yrs old and have been since birth I have alot t of back, hip problems as well as problems walking witch I use a wheelchair .and crutches to get around / I am very frustrated and overwelmed with my limitations and have been in the hospital several tiimes over the past year due to falling and I have had rehab and pt and care in my home . drs say I should consider assisted living but I cant afford it and Im too young for them . but . I now want to die in order not to deal with the pain anymoire but I know that I will hurt my family but I dont want to be a big burdon on them either . I also have a new in-law for my neice just got married and I dont want to burdent hem anymore . I want to be fixed or die but dont want to hhurt my family . but drs dont really understand help me please to know what to do .. mental health can not fix phisical handixcapp they have also told me I try and try but want to give up